I tend not to pass along joke emails, usually because they aren’t terribly funny, but I thought this one better than the norm. Enjoy.


  • Crack Found on Governor’s Daughter
  • Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
  • Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
  • Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
  • Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
  • Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
  • Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
  • Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
  • Miners Refuse to Work after Death
  • Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
  • War Dims Hope for Peace
  • If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
  • Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
  • Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
  • Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
  • Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
  • New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
  • Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
  • Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
  • Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
  • Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
  • Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
  • Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

4 Responses to Year’s Best Headlines

  1. Ryan says:

    What I love is that the 7 foot doctors wouldn’t be funny if we had any grasp of how the hyphen should be used. If we did, we’d know that the headline wasn’t referring to podiatrists and not tall M.D.s

    Linking cold waves to temperature, though? Now that’s pure genius at work!

  2. Jason says:

    “Kids Make Nutritious Snacks” just cracks me up.

    Some of them are really sharp, like:
    “Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge”

    Postive or negative?

  3. JBJ says:

    This *is* funny, but I’m sure they’re not all from 2003–I’ve seen the “War Dims Hope for Peace” and, of course, the “Is There a Ring of Debris” headlines in similar messages before.

  4. Jason says:

    Yeah, the “Ring of Debris” is old school, but I think that it reappeared because of all the space stuff this past year?

    Anyway, just a good chuckle.

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